Ohhhh, so that’s what life’s problems are when your life is awesome…
Just rub my body and don’t try to communicate with me, slave!
Just shut the fuck up and pamper me!
Just keeping you honest, slave!
That’s what the poor villagers are for!
I’m not going to get my own coat!
Yelp White Whine contest entry
And that’s the first time anyone has ever referred to a head massage as “an ordeal.”