Stop talking to me like you’re people
Is there any way you can install my new mattress while I’m still sleeping on my old one?
I come and waste time in your store without buying anything and THIS is how you repay me?!
Excuse, your holiness, but we really need to cook these white people some Tibetan food.
“Yes, hello? Health department? I’d like to report a gross violation of health codes at my local Starbucks. An employee there was wearing hair rollers and concealer on her…and you hung up.”
Everything is better with cheese!
Except Polos, I guess.
And Chinese food.
It’s almost as if you’re not as invested in this coffee order as I am!







